Pardon me, but I'd like a life please?
Sorry for the long delay. I've been caught in a shitstorm at work — games played, called in, traveled to, written up, go home, sleep, do it all over again.
Life in the Northwest — rain, overcast skies and weather that isn't fit to be host to a baseball/softball game (a soccer match? sure...).
In the mail a few weeks back, I received a letter from a good friend who is hosting an engagement BBQ in mid-May in California. Fun to be had by all... except for us. We can't make it. Why? For starters, we can't afford to travel there for the weekend. Second, I can't break away from work to do it. Third, I CAN'T BREAK AWAY FROM WORK because it is playoff season.
This morning, I saw the letter again and it hit me. I have no life. None. I work. I go home. I fiddle on the Internet. I go to sleep. I wake up. I work around the house. I listen to XM Radio in the living room. Then I go back to work. That's it. The weekends (Sundays and Mondays) are usually spent working around the house on little odd jobs and watching sports.
There aren't too many people I can hang out with out here, other than my wife and a few people at work. But really... should all of that count when it comes right down to it. I try to call and talk with family and friends back in Cali, but it is hard to maintain a conversation when it mostly consists of the weather, work and um... how's the baby and Kris.... I don't have any interesting stories to tell and I haven't been anywhere except to high school baseball/softball/soccer matches, except for work-related trips to far-flung places like Spokane. (More work....)
I can't do that. I really can't. I care too much about my family and friends to just sit there and go, "Well, not much else than that..." That's all she wrote, folks. Hell, I'm sitting here at work, when I'm supposed to be writing up games called in from far-flung locales like Ocean Shores and Naselle, telling you this. Hey, that's something.
Well, no... it isn't. I worry too much about money, about Kris, about the baby, about the fact that I have no life, about the fact that I have little opportunity to change it, about the fact that work absolutely sucks. I sit here in a mid-sized room, with no windows on a nice, sunny late winter day and I'm at a computer writing and taking calls. Yeah, that's what I've always wanted to do when I grew up.
I miss everyone down there. A lot. I miss hanging out at the Pub in Calistoga, drinking Guinness and ragging on the guys about everything and nothing at all. I miss going to Giants games, in the bleachers with the girls. I miss being able to see everyone more than just once or twice every two years.
I left California because I truly didn't believe that I could accomplish what I've wanted to do professionally there. At the same time, have a family, own a house, live comfortably, enjoy what I have and those around me. For the most part, I have that. But the one thing I don't have is a life, something besides all of that that puts the fun back into the soul, the sun in my face and the miles on my feet. Also, I don't have much of a connection anymore with the people I care about the most back home.
I have just about everything I ever wanted at this point in my life, but I don't have a life nor a connection. Now what?
••••••••••••••••••
Just a quick note about Kris: She's doing fine. Erin is good, but she has developed a habit of kicking Kris' bladder like it was a soccer ball. Thus, Kris is setting a new world record for trips to the bathroom. Not much else to report there. Kris is looking good, but try convincing her that is the truth is a whole new post for another day.
Also, Sunday is Kris and Hank's last Civic Choir concert. Hank is retiring after eight years and Kris is stepping away in order to relax a little more and not feel as if she's running around too much. With Erin's arrival in less than four months, this is a good time to do that. She still has church bells/choir to do, but that's cool with her.
I'd love to add that I'm doing OK, but right now, as of this posting, I'm not. I'm just here. Not exactly a good thing. *shrug*
(c) R. Burns
Life in the Northwest — rain, overcast skies and weather that isn't fit to be host to a baseball/softball game (a soccer match? sure...).
In the mail a few weeks back, I received a letter from a good friend who is hosting an engagement BBQ in mid-May in California. Fun to be had by all... except for us. We can't make it. Why? For starters, we can't afford to travel there for the weekend. Second, I can't break away from work to do it. Third, I CAN'T BREAK AWAY FROM WORK because it is playoff season.
This morning, I saw the letter again and it hit me. I have no life. None. I work. I go home. I fiddle on the Internet. I go to sleep. I wake up. I work around the house. I listen to XM Radio in the living room. Then I go back to work. That's it. The weekends (Sundays and Mondays) are usually spent working around the house on little odd jobs and watching sports.
There aren't too many people I can hang out with out here, other than my wife and a few people at work. But really... should all of that count when it comes right down to it. I try to call and talk with family and friends back in Cali, but it is hard to maintain a conversation when it mostly consists of the weather, work and um... how's the baby and Kris.... I don't have any interesting stories to tell and I haven't been anywhere except to high school baseball/softball/soccer matches, except for work-related trips to far-flung places like Spokane. (More work....)
I can't do that. I really can't. I care too much about my family and friends to just sit there and go, "Well, not much else than that..." That's all she wrote, folks. Hell, I'm sitting here at work, when I'm supposed to be writing up games called in from far-flung locales like Ocean Shores and Naselle, telling you this. Hey, that's something.
Well, no... it isn't. I worry too much about money, about Kris, about the baby, about the fact that I have no life, about the fact that I have little opportunity to change it, about the fact that work absolutely sucks. I sit here in a mid-sized room, with no windows on a nice, sunny late winter day and I'm at a computer writing and taking calls. Yeah, that's what I've always wanted to do when I grew up.
I miss everyone down there. A lot. I miss hanging out at the Pub in Calistoga, drinking Guinness and ragging on the guys about everything and nothing at all. I miss going to Giants games, in the bleachers with the girls. I miss being able to see everyone more than just once or twice every two years.
I left California because I truly didn't believe that I could accomplish what I've wanted to do professionally there. At the same time, have a family, own a house, live comfortably, enjoy what I have and those around me. For the most part, I have that. But the one thing I don't have is a life, something besides all of that that puts the fun back into the soul, the sun in my face and the miles on my feet. Also, I don't have much of a connection anymore with the people I care about the most back home.
I have just about everything I ever wanted at this point in my life, but I don't have a life nor a connection. Now what?
••••••••••••••••••
Just a quick note about Kris: She's doing fine. Erin is good, but she has developed a habit of kicking Kris' bladder like it was a soccer ball. Thus, Kris is setting a new world record for trips to the bathroom. Not much else to report there. Kris is looking good, but try convincing her that is the truth is a whole new post for another day.
Also, Sunday is Kris and Hank's last Civic Choir concert. Hank is retiring after eight years and Kris is stepping away in order to relax a little more and not feel as if she's running around too much. With Erin's arrival in less than four months, this is a good time to do that. She still has church bells/choir to do, but that's cool with her.
I'd love to add that I'm doing OK, but right now, as of this posting, I'm not. I'm just here. Not exactly a good thing. *shrug*
(c) R. Burns
posted by R. Burns at 4/27/2005 09:12:00 PM
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